somebody to watch over me


i am alone. i think we all are alone, only some of us dont feel it as much. some of us never come to realize it. thats what i think anyway. it hurts. am i the only one that hurts?

i can play the blame game but where has it got me so far? i want to get rid of all my stuff. i want to feel unencumbered by things. i want to own nothing but what i need to survive. i dont want to be in THIS world anymore. i dont want to compete on a playing field where i find it so difficult to understand the reason for their rules. yes, it is me and them. do we all feel that way?

what if i simply dont want to do this anymore? there is nothing i am getting our of this world that seems to make it worth the daily struggle.

i think death would be peace. i have to rack up good deeds so that i am in a good place in the world to come.

i just hurt. it feels like all the time. i want the self hate and the pain to stop.i am not doing well in this world. i am not a competitor. i want another world. another playing field. a place where i feel right. a place where i love myself. a place where i fit in. a place where i dont have to fight everyday to try and like myself.

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~ by Barbi Migi on October 11, 2012.

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