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lost and forgotten

If I went to the park in the dark

would you know I was there?

I wander my house, no longer a home

and  I feel all alone

in the depths of my soul to that hole in my heart

life for me is painful

every day is a test, can I make it through…

I’m not always sure how

much more pain I can endure

I cant quite figure out why I want to

what keeps me here

it used to be hope

hope of a happy future

now I am old

how much future is left

how much can i alter it

change it

make it happy

find a reason to laugh

I end up more skeptical every day

and more alone

in my the pain deep in my heart and my soul

where I’m at…

good days and bad days!

Today is a good day.

I am feeling in control AND have a friend without benefits!

Certain helps a momentarily loveless marriage survive.

Invisibility kills a woman, living hell I think.

If you’re not going to make me feel female then you will find yourself dealing with a totally nonsexual being.

Make me FEEL female and the magic is in your hands!

MEN…think it out…wisely…it’s your marriage and your choice!

Feeling female DOES NOT mean kitchen or bedroom duty!

It means that when you look at me and only me you feels that your life would end without me noticing you!

That I make you weak in the knees and you are strong but will turn off anything in your life at any moment for a chance to spend time with me.

That making me laugh makes you excited and seeing me vulnerable makes you protective!

I am looking for that man, maybe it is a fantasy, but I will still look for and dream of the man that wants to be with me or it isnt worth it to breathe!

everyday is a new day

Where am I at?

Where have I been?

Is life leading me or am I living it?